Archive for the Critiques comiques Category

Critiques comiques: Various Artists – « Brainscan Soundtrack »

Posted in Critiques comiques on avril 25, 2011 by johnnylebrun666

– « TAD- they fucken [sic] rock and I’d buy the « Sound of Music » if TAD could fart it. DANDELION-are some groovy alternative band, I didn’t mind it. ALCOHOL FUNNYCAR-not a bad track, but a little weak considering they are on C/Z Records. PRIMUS-suck [sic], swallow [sic] and beg [sic] for more. Next! OLD-Noise, that goes on for far too long. MUDHONEY-Isn’t it cool to like these guys now? BUTTHOLE SURFERS- I like them because they do Nintendo commercials now. PITCHSHIFTER-the other band here that I truly dig. WHITE ZOMBIE-Huh, huh, huh. STUTTERING JOHN-They do a great impression of those multi-platinum selling old farts Arrowsmith (yeah, I know, but someone should fucken [sic] peg the all with a quiverfull.) GEORGE CLINTON-some lame atmospheric/classical piece that was supposed to scare me. I’m scared I only like two songs on here! »

– Brad Mitchell, Skull Session, # 31, 1994, p. 35.

Critiques comiques: Epitaph – « Mind Control »

Posted in Critiques comiques on avril 7, 2011 by johnnylebrun666

J’inaugure aujourd’hui une nouvelle chronique: critiques comiques. Elle présentera des critiques drôles que je puiserai dans les magazines et sites Web métal. Quand ce sera possible, je mettrai un lien vers la critique choisie; sinon, je la retranscrirai et j’ajouterai la référence. Pour bien débuter cette chronique, je vous propose la critique du mini-album Mind Control (1994), du groupe australien Epitaph.

– « They say that if you put 100 monkeys in a room with 100 typewriters in 100 years one will have written the complete works of Shakespeare. By the sounds of Epitaph, five of those monkeys escaped early on in the experiment and miraculously landed in Australia. After five minutes of musical training, they formed an act dubbed the Marsupial Masturbation Massacre. Unable to get the opening slot for Menudo when they toured down unda’, they quickly changed their name to the generic Epitaph (thus completing some evil plot by the CIA to have a band named Epitaph in every country of the world). Thye made an album titled Mind Control – were laughed at by all and then faded into the sunset – and Mike’s ears lived happily ever after… »

– Mike Campbell, The Sepulchral Voice, Issue 13, 1995, p. 21.